Belle Biju

Note: I almost didn't post this one because it's not an essay and because, well, poetry wasn't exactly my strong suit when I wrote it. It's the first poem I ever wrote about a woman, which is the entire reason why I'm posting it.
To hear your sweet melodious voice
Calling out my name from across the room
Would be to know of the violent screams
Vibrating within the walls of your heart
I would make the offender cry for bloody murder
If I never knew of her existence
I would be tearing my hair out in frustration
I would make each of them pay for their tarnishes
If only to hear your voice respond to mine.

To hold your hand proudly in mine
And claim you as the one I am unashamed to love
Would be to have a connection to your past
And to the possibility of our future.
I would risk the guilt, the sorrow,
The unspeakable pain
To know of the secret joys
Such a simply act can conjure
If only it were your hand I were holding.

To smell the sweet scent of you hair
And run my fingers through the soft tendrils
Would be to know of the foul odors
Of each who had ever occupied your heart
Regardless of how long she stayed.
I wish I could have a single opportunity
To mingle my bittersweetness with the rest
I would hope to erase the scars they
Knowingly or unknowingly left behind
If only I could comb my fingers through your hair.

To gaze longingly into your eyes
And see the true beauty of your being
Would be to know of the anguishes you have suffered
I can only guess, based on my own ill experiences
Of the true extent of your emotional scars.
I would take them unto myself
Counting them among my own
The windows to my soul are yours to open
If only they were your eyes.

To kiss your wide mouth
And taste your sweetness for the first time
Would be to know of each and every being
Who has had their own share of your exquisite beauty
Weather by choice or by force.
I wish I never knew of how she hurt you and I both
For I know it is she who has you so resistant.
I would forswear the shame and never look back
If only for a single kiss upon your lips.

To hear your voice calling my name
And hold your hand in mine
To run my fingers through your soft hair
And gaze longingly into your eyes
To kiss your mouth tasting your sweetness…

To have you here beside me tonight
And fall asleep in your comforting arms
Would be to dream of my ever elusive love
And to wake up to cold sheets beside me
I wish I had only moved sooner
To claim you as my own
Before another stole you from me
I would hold you forever as mine and forgive myself
If only I could allow you to know the truth about me.